This is an extremely niche tweet.

I guess I, too, will be cursed with looking youthful and vibrant my whole life. What am I supposed to do, apologize?

Twitter asking me if I want to read the article before retweeting it? That’s not how social media works.

I was accused of drinking and texting last night. Sober tweeting drunk sounding texts and random song lyrics is my brand. Also, pumpkin spice tastes like hot ass.