I've got 99 problems but my swag ain't one

Ladies, if you could go on a date with ANY guy in the world, what time do you want me to pick you up?

Bitches are like alarm clocks they won't shut up till you hit them

If you look up the word swag in the dictionary... It'll be a great big picture of my face.

Is it possible to overdose on swag?

Just took my physical and tested positive 4 swag!!!!!!

I'm so tired. I need coffee and a blowjob

I named my penis "The Truth" because bitches can't handle it.