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forgot to check out of SafeEntry and now the government thinks i've been at don don donki for 17 days

The greatest thing a man can do with his life is create value for shareholders

When i text you “?” know that sir this is a Wendy’s

me: i wrote you a song, it's called 'rudolph the red nose reindeer' rudolph: it better not be about my nose me: rudolph: sing the song keith

you say rice pudding, I say advice pudding. you want some advice? get some pudding.

rt to spread awareness ??

"contro i mona anche gli dèi conbatono invano", Alvise Tonon, derattizzatore #raixestorte

Things money can't buy: 1) happiness 2) love 3) product market fit

My 11 year old asked me to Tweet that the Heisman voters are “so dumb” for not inviting Bama’s Will Anderson to New York. So here it is.

God Emperor Doja???

Can our president keep us safe when we travel to any part of this country? Is your life better today than it was six years ago?

Tonight in #WWEJacksonville, Tony Khan, son of the owner of the @Jaguars, came bearing gifts for the #WWE Superstars!

You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

i am tripping absolute dick rn

Rihanna says if it’s your bin day tomorrow go and put it out NOW. “Don’t wait till bedtime - you’ll forget - and DEFINITELY don’t leave it till the morning,” she said